just a day at the park

yesterday the weather was beautiful

i think it may have been a cruel april fools joke

because it's snowing and super cold again today

but anyway we took advantage of the warm weather

and took the kids on a little walk around down town

and then to the park

 our double stroller occasionally works as a triple

if someone sits on the front foot rest

not bad, right?

 our little monkeys

 wahooo

 olive's first time down the slide

 our friends were at the park

so we asked them to take a family pic

hazel was pouting and noah was about to run away

but we take what we can get

(ps: i cut my hair a little more, can you tell?)

 three kiddies on the swings

 michael hates to be left out

 they look so happy

olive had never been on the swings like this before

she absolutely loved it

she gave nonstop belly laughs

i think we were all really happy to get out

after a long winter

poor noah

noah was using a stool to get in the bath

with hazel today and slipped and fell

he hit his bum really hard just above the crack

i was on the phone with my sister

when it happened

and he heard me explaining to her what happened

and he yelled, "i cracked my bum???"

apparently i'd never taught him that our bums have a crack

one awkward lesson down

several to go

fancy

i gave olive fancy bobby pin hair today

it was darling

until she played..

oh to be an 8 month old

with obscene amounts of hair

and a hairstylist mom

best. outfit. ever.

nearly a year ago

i made noah and hazel matching outfits 

i also started making one for olive

but i didn't finish it

until this week

i put it on her today

and it was hilarious! 

i think it's a one time use outfit

she barely fit into it

either way, she's really cute
now i want to go make her more silly one pieces

church on a saturday

today was the preparedness fair 

at our church

and besides the regular booths

with good information about food storage

and safety

there was an ambulance, firetruck and a....

helicopter!!!

we got there just in time to see it land

 we got to sit in it, too

 hazel didn't want to sit in it

but olive didn't mind

out to dinner

we went out to dinner without kids

(except olive)

with our friends, the livelys

it was so nice

the kids are happier

and we are happier

sometimes ya just need a break

am i right?

spring break

 michael and olive at the pacific science center

 grandpa olson with hazel and olive

at the science center

noah playing in the water

 olive with grandma olson, great grandma marge, and great grandma shirley

grandma and grandpa olson took us to a park in sequim

 i learned how to ride my parents' tractor 

it was so much fun!

 olive driving the van

my mom and dad kissing me

Our whole family was so sick last weekend when we were supposed to go see our families for spring break so we postponed the trip a bit and went from Thursday until Sunday. First we drove to Bellevue and ate at Chipotle (mmmm) and picked Michael's Dad up from work. Then we went to the Pacific Science center and rode the ferry over the Puget Sound. We dropped Laif off at home and went on to my parent's house to spend the night. Friday we spent the day with Michael's parents and had a fun day with them at their house with some extra visitors. Michael's Grandma Shirley lives there so we love seeing her when we visit, Michael's uncle Darrell was visiting and his Grandma Marge stopped by to see us and that was so nice. Saturday we spent with my parents and I learned how to ride their tractor. I loved it. Normally Michael takes the kids on tractor rides but this time I got to. My mom helped me rummage through her fabric and we spent some time downtown. It was so nice to see our parents and Michael's aunt Debbie was gracious and let us spend the night at her house last night. The only person (family) we missed was my sister Monica but we'll be back up again soon. We're so glad we felt better so we could make the trip. We're looking forward to a day when we don't live so far away so we can see our families more and drive a lot less!!

motherhood

me and noah sept. 2006

You know what's disappointing? Motherhood. I don't mean that being a mother is disappointing. It's not. All the little failures we set ourselves up for, are. Luckily, things with Noah went almost perfect. I gained an "ok" amount of weight, I delivered him completely naturally and was told I was a trooper for doing so without grimacing. Noah hit all of his milestones right on track, and I knew that because I was paying attention and waiting for him to do so. I felt so proud. As he hit a milestone, it confirmed I was a good mother. This was especially important at that time as I was a single mom, which to me, felt like an automatic disadvantage so I was trying to make up for it by being perfect in every other way. I felt like everyone else was doing an inferior job parenting compared to me. I did everything great. I was always prepared, always an extra outfit in my cute diaper bag, never a long fingernail, a messy outfit or a special moment not photographed. The only way I felt like I was lacking was breastfeeding. For the first 5 months or so, Noah gained right on track, 50th percentile (perfect). Then he started to drop more and more until he was 9 months old or so and hit a low between the 5th and 10th percentile for weight. The doctor suggested that my breast milk didn't contain enough calories. I hated it. I worried so much and just wanted him to gain weight but by this time it was too late to supplement with formula, the poison I had opted out of for my perfect baby. The doctor suggested formula but Noah didn't want it because he hadn't had it previously. I nursed him for 12 solid months and then two days after his birthday we stopped and he didn't mind at all. Once he drank whole milk from a sippy and ate more solid food he gained more weight and it's been all fine and normal since then.
Hazel came into this world via emergency c-section and then as far as eating habits, she followed Noah's suit. She gained fine for the first 5 months. Then she decided to stop nursing around 9 or 10 months. I thought with Noah maybe I was too extreme losing weight so with Hazel I made sure not to try too hard to lose weight so she could be healthy and breastfed for as long as she wanted. But she didn't want to nurse as long as I wanted her to. It never seemed to satisfy. Every nursing she and Noah did was so short and I knew they must not be getting enough. What do you do when something so "natural" isn't coming naturally. My super easy second birth was supposed to be short, sweet and all natural. The emergency c-section was not that. Then to not be able to meet all of Hazel's needs with breast milk hurt, too. After nine or ten months of nursing she moved straight over to a bottle of whole milk, no formula for her either. She preferred it and I couldn't blame her. I don't want to have a hungry baby.
So this leads me to Olive who also came to this world via c-section and who also seems hungry. Olive's whole life I've been open to supplementing with formula. I told her pediatrician my concerns and he agreed it could be good to supplement. I've had a time consuming calling at church Olive's whole life so when I go to meetings she gets formula from Michael. I never have much milk when I'm pumping so I figured this was a good plan. Ever since her first feeding she has been a way better nurser than the other two. It's so disappointing to not be able to give her everything she needs. In my heart I am a cloth diapering, natural birthing, too long nursing mother but it just isn't so. Cloth diapers made the girls rash, I've had two c-sections instead of three natural births, and my babies are not getting everything they need from my breast milk. Why is motherhood so disappointing? This last week we have had such terrible colds and since I'm breastfeeding (almost exclusively) I didn't want to take much but I did take sudafed a couple of times to make things more bearable. The side effect can be that it dries your milk up some. I don't know if it was that it did that or I worried that it might but I started to give Olive formula more this week and she seems so much more satisfied. I was surprised as I gave one of my children a bottle of formula for the first time, it was perfectly natural. It was like a really good nursing session. Ever since, I've given her formula every day in between nursing and she is so much more satisfied. I'm so happy for her. Why am I sad for me? I don't know if I should even try to nurse her anymore. She'll probably be happy not to, just like her siblings.

Writing this all out makes me feel better. And worse, a little. I'm not sure if anyone will want to read this whole thing. Maybe you've already heard it. If you haven't, you may not want to. Any advice?

i have super kids

no really, i do

ps: do you love that noah's costume is like 5 sizes too big and hazel's is almost too small

they just couldn't resist getting out the costumes when they saw that i framed a picture from last halloween

i really should have had michael take these pictures

but when i took this one

in our super dirty bathroom mirror

he didn't know that i was about to chop my hair

should i have cleaned our mirror before i took this

since i knew how terrible it looked in the previous photo?

yes

but...you get what you get

the best photo of the bunch

taken by noah

this week..

we all got sick with a super gross cold. we're still not over it. i am positive this has been the worst cold i've ever had in my whole life.

i hurt my hip running and couldn't make it through my 3 mile run without wanting to cry. and i don't usually cry. it started hurting after my 4 mile run on tuesday but it killed during my 3 mile thursday run. i'm taking this next week off. good thing i started the training program a week early! if it doesn't heal up right away i'll probably forget about the marathon. i don't want to hurt myself unnecessarily.

i cut my hair off is it rude not to post a picture? i have had red eyes and felt so sick all week that i haven't wanted to take a picture yet. i couldn't stand having it pulled constantly any longer! olive is such a hair puller. i feel a little weird having my normal bob again after so long but i'm happy to have the change.

so impressive...

I heard Hazel and Olive playing in the bathroom.

They were both very happy.

For a while, Olive was playing with the door stop.

Then after a little bit

Noah went in and sounding impressed asked Hazel,

"How did you get her in there?"
Hazel replied, "I carried her". 

I thought...."Oh dear." I got a little worried.

Noah felt differently.
He said, "I'm so proud of you".

I grabbed my camera and went in.

Here is what I found...

Blurry but you can tell she's pleased with herself.

Olive under the sink.

Noah in the sink.

Yep.

Hazel lifted her into the cupboard under the sink.

And Olive didn't mind.

Noah was on top of the sink.

Not sure why his tongue was out. 

I think Olive was happy to be included.

I know that feeling.

I was always following everyone around,

trying to be included.

That's the life of the youngest.

nap time

For the last month or two, naps have been pretty optional for Hazel. She usually gets pretty grumpy by 6:00pm or so the days she doesn't nap but she sleeps well at night. Lately she is taking a nap every day but not in the usual me-help-her-into-her-bed-with-a-sippy and close her door fashion. She is taking a nap either on the couch or on my bed every day because she's so exhausted and falls asleep randomly. Poor girl. She has always needed sleep. Lots of it. Like me. She just can't let her two year old self surrender to me putting her down for a nap every day. This way it's on her terms. I love that she fell asleep with her baby doll today. Don't worry, I covered her with a blanket after I took this picture.

new pillow covers

i finally made some new covers for our pillows today

remember the bird dress i made a year ago?

i haven't worn it

and wanted to use the fabric

so i took the dress apart

and used it to cover one of the pillows

and i do love stripes

seeing them in the living room

is making me very happy

marathon training: week 1

monday: 3 miles
wednesday: 4 miles
friday: 3 miles
saturday: 5 miles

i just finished week 1 (of 16-17)
of marathon training
i am not completely committed to the full marathon
i figured i would start training and see how i feel
i will at least be doing the half if not the full

every week i am supposed to run monday (short), tuesday (medium), thursday (short), saturday (long)
but the weather was crazy this last week
so i improvised a little
though i do typically run on the treadmill at a gym
i didn't feel like shoveling my car out to go
after we had like 21 inches of snow

running felt good
i don't love the thought of being away from the fam on saturdays
so we went on the trail between pullman and moscow
as a family
and michael and i took turns pushing the stroller
it was a little chaotic with the kids
getting in and out
crying
michael wore olive for part of it
etc
but it was fun to be active as a family
and i think we'll try it again next week

eight months old

cheesy smile

worried eyebrows

crossing her feet

cute little tongue

concentrating on standing at her toy

this girl melts our hearts

taking the joke too far

hazel loves clothes

but lately

she wants to be naked

unless she can match me or olive

so today she and i both wore

black leggings and black shirts

(we don't have many matching outfits)

and i was wearing red lipstick

so i put a little on her, too

she loved it

but apparently i didn't put hers on

bold enough...

so she took matters into her own hands

 don't mind that she's crying

she does not like being in trouble

 here's where she stashed my red lipstick

and a towel

and here she is

still crying

after i wiped her face clean
and now she's fallen asleep
right in this spot
on my bed
exhausted from causing mischief

so precious

michael needed some pants hemmed yesterday

so he held olive 

while i worked on the pants

and she fell asleep on him!

don't worry,

i took the picture of the top of michael

making sure not to show his pantslessness

scrounge

the second hazel gets bored with her apple

she leaves it on the floor

and resourceful, mobile olive

is happy to take care of it

at least she's a cute scrounge

some thoughts

money is on my mind
we had so much of it a week ago
and then i got a cat scan
and we bought a van
both good things..
but really took a chunk
now we need to be a lot more frugal
which hurts a little
our plan was to use some money
either for new furniture
or a little vacation this summer
but instead it went to the cat scan
oh well
health is very important, too

i love it when noah crosses his eyes
it's hilarious
also when he's getting dressed
and he wants to do it so fast
that he jumps into his shirt
that's funny too

hazel is kind of a maniac these days
she is so cute and sweet
but when she gets mad, we all suffer
poor girl, i'm sure it's hard being two

olive is so busy lately
i have to vacuum constantly
or she eats things that she shouldn't
she crawls all over the place and is starting
to pull herself up on to furniture
busy busy busy

michael is stressed out lately
and we're both busy
i'm excited for spring break
even if he works for part/all of it
at least he won't be stressed with homework
poor michael, husband, father of 3, student, working, and his calling?
so much on his plate

oh well
life is good
i wish things would warm up
and the snow would go away
but we're warm, healthy and happy

big news of the day

this morning hazel was quite crafty

with the bunk bed ladder

(why haven't we disassembled that thing?)

and got herself the peanut butter m&ms

but she couldn't get herself down

 then we hopped in the car to go to spokane

for stake temple day

and found ourselves a sweet van

after a very patient 

and not so patient

period of saving money

for a few months

 it's a 2006 Honda Odyssey

that we love

then we barely made it in time for our session

at the temple

phew

and ended the day with dinner at target (it sucked)

and a long separate drive home

since we had two cars to bring home

turns out driving together is WAY more fun

and now we're about to have second dinner

holla!

a little update

i started feeling better last night
and slept fine
(other than getting up with olive)
this morning i just have a dull pain
so i'm hoping if i take it easy it won't get worse again
i expected (from what the doctor said)
that i was going to be in terrible pain last night
and that things would get a bit worse
before they got better
but i do feel a lot better already
which makes me wonder if it was a kidney stone
or not
oh well
as long as i'm healthy, in minimal pain
and can take care of my kiddies, i'm happy

what's wrong with me?

this afternoon i felt a weird pain in my back/abdomen
on the right side
i disregarded it until michael came home
and i complained to him about it
he suggested i go to the doctor
and even scheduled me an appointment
i wasn't sure if i should go or not
because the pain was kind of off and on
but i went anyway
the doctor took my urine
and made sure i wasn't pregnant
but said i have blood in my urine
and thinks i have a kidney stone
but just to make sure
she sent me to the hospital to get an x-ray
and cat scan
she called me with the results
and said they couldn't see a kidney stone
i do have one vertebrae that is weird...
something might be going on with my lymph nodes..
it doesn't appear to be my appendix
but she is still guessing it's a kidney stone
that is either in my bladder already
or small and was missed on the cat scan
ho hum
the pain seems to be getting worse
so michael is filling my prescription
of pain medication
and buying me sickie treats
if the pain gets bad tonight i'm supposed to go to the ER
we'll see