This was a tag on facebook. I figured I'd share it here too. Enjoy!

1. I love old things. 2. Ugly things hurt me. Like it's almost damaging to my soul to see ugly things. I always look at things and think of how I can improve them be it hair, houses, clothing, etc. 3. I hold on to important sentimental things but I'm a minimalist and love giving things away. 4. Since I was little, whenever watching a movie or show, I always feel like whatever happens is actually happening to me. The first time I noticed it, I was watching The Wonder Years and felt like I was Kevin. 5. I hate Disney movies. They have scared me since I was little. I try to not push that on Noah but I prefer he doesn't watch them. They always have scary parts. 6. My husband and his family love Disneyland, Disneyworld, and Disney movies. 7. I miss going to the temple. We used to be good about going 1-2 a month but since we had Hazel we have only gone once together. She cried the whole time. Now that she's eating solid food we hope to go more often. 8. I feel like a good mom every time I look at Noah's feet and he has matching clean white socks on. 9. I got divorced 3 years ago today. 10. I've always wanted to be a ballerina. Maybe I'm just a sucker for tutus. 11. I can't fully hear out of my left ear. I love it because I can sleep so much better with my "good ear" down. I don't like that I have jaw problems from always sleeping on my right side with my arm under my pillow. I can't even chew gum anymore. My jaw pops all the time. 12. I love projects. Michael does too. We can't wait until we have a house to work on. 13. I have lots of fillings in my mouth but they're all white so no one can tell. 14. I prefer baths to showers. I always have. 15. I hate to run/jog/exercise. I pefer walking and yoga. 16. I love tradition. 17. Recently I was totally craving chocolate. I went to the store for a trip out alone the othernight and bought oreos. Michael and I finished them by the next day. What is wrong with us? 18. I have $900 sitting in a cup I made in pottery sitting on my dresser. It used to be our place for "rainy day" cash that we would spend on fun stuff. That was before my husband quit his job. Now it's money we're holding on to for an emergency. 19. I don't like sports. 20. I hate to be cold and I hate to be in cold water. Michael and I didn't feel like the water in Maui was warm enough. 21. I also hate the rain and I've only ever lived in Washington. 22. I've always felt like dishes should match as well as silverware. It killed me when I was little and my parents would ask me to set the table and I couldn't EVER find all matching anything. I would match as much as possible. 23. Michael treats me like a queen and I'm so happy to be married to him. He is a wonderful father. 24. I used to love sitting and folding laundry. It was so relaxing. That was before I started using cloth diapers. Now I have SO MUCH laundry every single day that I dread laundry. 25. I love my family and wish we all saw each other a lot more often.

preggie pops

i love looking at old pictures

and

i love preggie pictures

of course i hate them being taken at the time

and i feel gigantic

but looking at them now

it's just amazing

how do our bodies do that?

for your viewing pleasure:

day before noah

day before hazel

too much

life has kind of sucked this week mind you last week was possibly the best i've ever felt about my husband i didn't feel resistant toward him i told him my true feelings and it made me feel closer to him and i was happy i got to see my sister and spend time with family but living here has sucked we've been fighting which isn't great i want things to work and they might i can do anything, right? i need to get it off my chest it really sucked that kyle embarrassed me in front of a group of people my telling me how to be with my husband all i did was make a sarcastic joke guess who has made me so sarcastic my husband guess who's business it is ours not yours not anyones then we fought and i hear i'm quite the fighter what do you think my last marraige was made of i'm pretty good at it i felt completely justified in bringing it up i was right it opened a whole new can of worms apparently kyle and i both bottle things up not that fun but it seems we've worked things out and can get along i just wonder if this whole mess will repeat itself i have wanted to move out since the week we moved in it seemed like it would be so easy and work out fine and saving money is important but it has been hard i really think it'll make us stronger, all of us but it's still been really hard it would be easy to leave other than the sucky part of moving all our crap but then the kids would have to readjust now and in 4 months life is hard i know this is one of those stupid trials that you just need to pray about and move past but it's not that easy to see when it's your life things really are fine now but the whole ordeal of fighting with someone i haven't had to fight in a long time and it made me fight with my husband for not defending me that was really disappointing it's probably good though most of our fights so far have been me making up problems just to be able to fight i think it seems natural to me so sometimes i get mad at michael for no reason and then we make up and it's over but this time it was a real fight and it wasn't even about michael but it was me against his brother and he sat back and watched my sister tried to help i just sighed relief writing about it i hate to write this but i need to and it's my blog, right? not merely your way of looking at my life without my knowledge it's my place to let it out and occasionally show my children or whatever oh life why trials? why not gumdrops and sunshine all the time? i'm already a mom, isn't that hard enough? this is probably stupid and not "supposed to be public knowledge" oh well i don't care i'll do what i want by the way facebook is stupid i like to see my family and a couple really close friends but seriously, how dumb so you get a high number of friends and then what dumb and what the heck is the deal with every one of my "high school friends" (if there is such a thing anymore) being "friends" with my exhusband weren't you my friends? jerks or are you trying to look cool i'm so irritated thanks a million high school friends are so stupid so i've deleted all but a few guess when the last time i talked to my bff from high school is the last time she needed her hair done how lame apparently i just need a journal maybe i'll save this as a draft why should it be your business well its not even if i publish this online for the world is there anything else i need to rant about before i end this horrific post i don't know you know what is weird? maybe you feel connected to me like through my blog and reading crap like this but it doesn't help me know you any better that's kind of weird i wonder what i'll think of this phase of life when its over isn't that weird to think about like how i thought i was fat when i was young and ever since and i never was and i'm still not but it's just how you feel and now it's like stupid young me, what were you thinking? or i was so cute then or i was so happy, why can't i have that still i don't make sense i'm gonna grab my husband who will for sure hate that i'm posting this and go to bed

goodbye my lover

Miss you already!!

So my-uch!!

polka dot princess

there is something so funny about this pretty girl looking so pouty Look, here she's telling her cousin Clark a funny story before church. Noah's listening intently.

Our little family.

My sweet kids.

There's a happy girl!

thanks aimee

I was tagged...watch out. It could be you next! 8 Shows you watch: The Biggest Loser The Office What not to wear Curious George Clifford Word World Yard Crashers House Hunters 8 Restaurants I eat at: Red Robin Olive Garden Cheesecake Factory Subway Azteca Arby's Asagios Yummy Teriyaki 8 Things I did yesterday: Jogged Showered WITH MY HUSBAND Went to Goodwill Saw Madagascar 2 at the $2 theater Ate McDonalds Cleaned Kyle's garage Stayed awake in bed talking about facebook and disappointing old friends changed lots of diapers 8 things I look forward to: Seeing my family today Moving Michael finishing school owning a house learning how to sew better one day going on a real vacation as a family becoming a better person, more Christlike my whole family being together 8 wishes: I wish I was skinny I wish I was happier I wish I could get over and forget the past I wish I had a house I wish I could know life will go well and nothing really bad or tragic will happen to my family, especially my children I wish I was a better mom and wife I wish my whole family could live close to each other I wish life didn't have to be messy, I hate messy I tag: Gine Bonks Brianne Jackie Shirley Debbie Michael Fran

cameo earrings

It's time I start wearing the jewelry in my jewelry box. I have been holding on to most pieces of the jewelry I own since childhood, when I discovered it in my mom's jewelry box. She's so sweet and gave me all the funky jewelry I wanted. I've been thinking lately how I need to be that way with Hazel when she's older too. If she likes funky things, I'll pay it forward and pass things on. Anyway, that was a tangent. I have had this problem since I was maybe..3 and started dressing myself. I want to dress for every occasion. I used to change like 10 times a day when I was little. I haven't really outgrown that. If I am exercising I need exercise clothes on. If I was horseback riding I needed specific (preferably REAL) horseback riding clothes on. I really wanted to be a ballerina. I really did. Mostly just because I wanted to wear a leotard and tutu. So pretty. So now I change myself to exercise, to lounge, to go out, to REALLY go out (like fancy), or to church, etc. I even change my kids for various activities. They need different clothes or at least some different things on to go outside or to be inside or to get dirty or for holidays or special days. It's probably an illness. It drives some people crazy. Luckily not Michael because he's ultra patient. He has learned not to compliment an outfit until I'm really ready to go because I'll be irritated that I think he's pressuring me into an outfit I don't want to wear and then I feel guilty for changing. Ok that was another tangent. The point I was getting at is that I always have to be dressed appropriately for every activity. Like for instance my outfit to Michael's family Christmas party is not what I was planning on wearing. It was really casual and I was going to at least look a little fancier and wear a red shirt or something. And Hazel was supposed to wear a Christmas dress and not her tiedie pants. Anyway, I've always wanted to dress how I think it is appropriate AND how I think other people will be dressed or think I should be dressed. I've never wanted to be the mom with purple hair if you know what I mean. I feel suppressed when I look like someone I'm not. I have a very conservative life and beliefs but I can still be who I want to be. I am going to try to just be more true to myself. Wear what I like more often and not what I think other people expect or will look like or would like me to look like. I have had the same taste since I was really little. I always wished I was born in a different era because I like old, funky, vintage, retro things. I always have. Thats why I've held on to the same jewelry my whole life. I'm going to make an effort to wear it more. Even dare to look funky in front of people who aren't. Buy things even when my sisters think they are ugly. So today I'm wearing old man pants I bought at the thrift store in high school, a cool new shirt I bought in PA for $5 and cameo earings. It's rockin'!

random thoughts

I like the end of the movie Juno.

It makes me miss that big pregnant belly and sweet high school love.

The rest of the movie is a little bleugh and swears a lot.

I'm feeling good and proud of myself for getting up and jogging each morning.

It's not a lot but it's a lot for me.

I feel in better shape already, like I'm losing the baby belly more each day.

what else

being a mom is hard

but i like it

michael and i had a good talk last night

it didn't seem very good at the time

a lot of negativity

but it ended well

in bed

i talked to my old best friend's sister today

it was nice

she told me she wants to be a mom

i automatically told her it's not all it's cracked up to be

it's hard

but thinking about it now i think it's neat she wants to be a mom

and it makes me grateful i am one

michael's working on homework

that's why i'm still awake

been watching tv

way more than i should but there's a giant tv here and a million movies on all the time

like juno

and ps i love you

plus i watched the office

and kath and kim

no one else likes that show but i think it's hilarious

anyway

whenever michael and i stay up really late talking and eventually making love

we get along a lot better

like it solves any problems we have

i barely hated living here today

that was nice

plus it's thursday and an all new office so that helps too

oh and i had a slurpee

this is kind of fun typing random things

i don't often share what i'm thinking

even when asked

i say...oh nothing or ...just what we're talking about

it's never a true answer

because i don't think he wants to hear what i'm really thinking about most of the time

or it's stupid and unrelated

like what should i wear

oh neat this

or that's ugly

the whole blogging thing is funny

like i shouldn't be afraid to type whatever i want because it's my blog

but then i am nervous to put just anything on

who reads this?

i don't know

i kind of like it like that

although it is odd when i haven't really thought of that and then someone talks to me about something i blogged and i think ooops

but oh well

i kind of like that random people could read my blog

and enjoy it

or relate

or whatever

or feel like they get to see a piece of my life

you don't have to know what i mean

i know what i mean

it's a good outlet reguardless

i don't think it should be private

what are you afraid of?

you don't even have an ex-husband you're worried about "seeing" your life

not that that even matters really

it's not his life

i kind of don't want to have the comments thing on

although i love comments

it just seems like sometimes thats what i blog for

and that's not really the point

i tend to bottle things up

a few people know that best

it seems good to have a place to put my feelings and thoughts

without caring what anyone thinks about it

or whether anyone's reading

i do love being a mom

i hope michael knows that despite our talk last night

and i hope he knows i love him

with all that i have to love with

he's a really good husband

the husband i always wanted

now i'm at a loss

i guess that must have been what i was getting at

i don't know

i've missed these

Noah's baby pictures!!

I just copied these from my parents computer this last weekend.

I'll share a few of my favorites

I love this picture! When I grabbed the camera, little Noah's hat fell over his eyes. Best friends

It's amazing how many pictures I took of the two of us. the cutest little puppy

Do you see his front teeth popping through?

Darling!

Oh Noah

Remember when we were best friends?

It was just the two of us.

We played all day every day.

You were my only focus.

No husband.

Not much of a job.

No other kids.

I talked to you all the time.

We read.

We played.

I sang to you.

I waited for you for so long.

My only interest was you.

Hopefully I can keep that in mind.

Especially during these crazy toddler years.

I love you!

a typical day

Today's been ok.

The kids are mostly well behaved.

I thought it would be nice to get out of the house .

I'll let you guess why I needed out

So we went to the library in Covington.

Noah wanted to run around/away the entire time.

He sat still long enough for me to read him a Curious George book.

I turned my back long enough to grab another book.

He ran away.

Again.

I took that as a sign it was time to go.

We made a stop at Fred Meyer.

As usual, we needed milk.

I kind of hate going anywhere with the kids by myself because they can be a little crazy and make any little trip miserable.

Typically Hazel is tired and squealing and Noah is reaching for things, knocking them over and or running away.

Today he was only trying to stand in the cart, not too bad.

Oh yeah, and trying to get on the conveyor belt with the milk.

Still not too bad.

On our way in I didn't have a cart yet so I had Hazel and a blanket in one arm and my giant bag on the shoulder of the hand that's holding very tightly on to Noah's hand.

I was juggling my kids and making my way inside when I spotted an elderly couple that looked nice so I smiled.

I like old people.

The woman's response to my smile was "where are your children's coats?" and a deathly glare.

They are both in long sleeves and multiple layers and my baby has a blanket.

I thought it was sufficient.

Even if it's not---

Has she completely forgotten how hard it is just to get out the door with an infant and a toddler?

Nearly impossible!

So that wasn't great.

And during this whole venture out I was listening to Jewel which is depressing in a few ways.

And to think I only went out because I didn't want another day stuck in a single room of my brother in law's house.

fun on the farm

I know what you're thinking,

"How can I get a matching pair of carhart overalls?".

Well I found Noah's pair at the Goodwill for $5.00. Sweeeeet. I'm not that in to carhart myself but my dad is and as soon as I saw these, I knew they would be a match made in heaven. By the way, little known fact we learned this weekend, Noah HATES overalls. He hates the straps and refused to wear them. We finally had to distract him and put a sweater over until picture time. He minded a lot less once Grandpa matched him.

This is my favorite photo of them.

Another favorite photo from this weekend.

Noah is now a horseback riding addict.

He rode like a pro and wants MORE!

I get all my rockin' style from my Mom.

It was such a nice weekend with my sisters at our parents house.

Thanks to Michael's parents for the bed and breakfast they provided!

the rumors are true

Yes. Okay! Yes. I can't deny it any longer. I gave in! Call it a personal sacrifice if you will. I did it. For the first time in..6 years. I guess. I haven't been counting, to be honest. I never thought I would do this again in my entire life. It was yesterday. Dare I tell you where.. I must. At the local walmart. I'm even ashamed of where! I Bought ... Un-Professional hairspray I'm so ashamed! I'm a professional hair stylist, for goodness sake! But. My husband is a student. We are living on savings. Man, I'm selfless. I just hope my children learned a valuable lesson. And one day my hair will forgive me.

So for now...

I'll miss your perfect hold. Your vegan ways. The low pollutants you share that made me rest easy while my precious children played with my tresses.

Goodbye Pureology Hairspray!

my hubby the student

Michael just e-mailed me this picture.

Apparently it's on his teacher's website. Aldready. It's only the 2nd week of school. Very nice to see him looking so on cue for this picture. I believe it was taken yesterday if my memory of what he wears to school each day is accurate. Plus it's still on the top in the laundry basket.

So cute!!!

the story of my life

Ya know, I've done a few things in my life that I never thought I would do.

To name a few...I didn't know I'd get married so young,

divorce so young, and be remarried so young.

Nor did I know I'd be a young mom, although I did have my suspicions there.

Not to say I didn't think I'd get married young.

I did think that.

I just didn't know how it would all happen...twice.

It's just funny how life happens.

I'm the mother of 2,

I live with my brother in law,

I spend most of my days cooped up in my room

to avoid awkward encounters with the said landlord.

It's kind of funny.

Life is good.

I like to have a good attitude about things.

"Sure, honey, we can move in with your brother.

I can tolerate anything for 6 months."

And I can.

It's just a funny situation to be in.

I totally appreciate that he's letting us live with him.

I just know I'll learn a good lesson on the value of having our own place because of this experience.

And hopefully I'll never take it for granted again.

Sadly, I often don't miss things until they're gone.

Just like I didn't realize how good it was at our apartment until we moved.

I just need to be content with my life.

Even if it means

I watch toy story 2 every day.

Sometimes more than once.

At least it's a funny movie!

sandals in january

What's that you say?

Why is Michael helping Noah wear sandals in January?!

Well Noah's only two years old and he can't quite do it himself.

Oh, you mean because it's so cold outside!

Well we thought it could be fun to take the kids....

Swimming! We all had a fun time swimming last night. This was the second time we've taken both kids to the pool. Hazel was only 3 months old the last time we went. She enjoyed it a lot more as a big 7 month old. We still didn't last the whole hour because of kids and their little purple lips. It was a friday night family date!

My sister's HERE!!

My sister Andre'a and her baby Clark are here visiting from Boston!

Here she is!!

Me and my sisters My cute preggie sister, Monica Clark and Hazel taking a nap together. They never actually napped.

yeah, that's right

So. I cut my own hair.

Don't worry, I'm semi-educated in the whole thing.

Sometimes it goes well.

Sometimes it doesn't.

I really dig this new haircut.

It's kinda extreme.

The bangs are a little short.

Maybe excessively short.

But..I love it!

i heart seattle

We had such a fun day. We took the kids to pike place. Then we went to the center house for some lunch. Michael and I enjoyed a lick from our favorite ice cream shop. Then we thought it would be fun to let Noah go on a ride at the fun forest. He was totally excited. Tickets are $1 each and the rides are all at least 2 tickets. No biggie, we'd just use debit. The trouble was that you can't use debit on less than a 4 ticket purchase. We're cheap and didn't want to spend $4 for no reason. So we decided to look at how much cash/change we had. I had exactly $1.87 in change. We went on a hunt for the last 13 cents. Michael inconspicuosly looked under the arcade games and vending machines. No luck. We decided to walk over to the Space Needle and look around the gift shop and if we didn't find the change we needed, we'd forget about the ride. And hope Noah would too. Michael thought we should look for some sort of fountain to find change. He went in to the fountain right outside the space needle and grabbed

13 rusty pennies

Luckily the fountain was empty

Noah couldn't have been happier. He gave the guy his ticket himself and then sat on the ride with total confidence. That was short lived. The ride had to be stopped early for poor Noah. He's getting so big but he's still our cautious two year old.

Still a really fun day.

pin curls

Today is Michael's last day of work.

We're going out to celebrate.

I used my beauty school skills and

have pin curls today.

Maybe we should celebrate that!

reaping the benefits of what i sewed

I meant to make this dress a little big but it fits Hazel already.

Can you tell she just LOVES it?!

happy new year!!

A little apron for Hazel

made of a skirt of mine and the pocket is one of my socks I don't wear

the little bernina

i love this machine, it's so simple

The front of a dress I made Hazel tonight

maybe I'll add some buttons

the back....not perfect but cute and I made it!

I promised Michael I wouldn't be staying up until midnight tonight. I rarely do, there's no point and I'm SO tired today. My darling children wake me up in the night and earlier in the morning than I prefer. I need my sleep. Michael is quite crafty and let me get some fabric at ikea and grab my other sewing machine (the one my Mom taught me to sew on and the one with the correct too). Anyway, he got his way and I've stayed awake trying trying my hand at sewing again.

I wonder if it has anything to do with my recent discovery of the show project runway....

Either way, I'm really enjoying it lately. My whole life I've never used a pattern. As you can probably tell. Maybe I should try one. Trouble is, I really like doing things quickly and I don't mind imperfections as long as it looks ok overall. So I freehand it. Anyway, Michael's done playing his game and I'm going to bed. Hopefully Michael will honor our deal and let me sleep in tomorrow. We'll see!

Happy 2009!!!