random thoughts

I like the end of the movie Juno.

It makes me miss that big pregnant belly and sweet high school love.

The rest of the movie is a little bleugh and swears a lot.

I'm feeling good and proud of myself for getting up and jogging each morning.

It's not a lot but it's a lot for me.

I feel in better shape already, like I'm losing the baby belly more each day.

what else

being a mom is hard

but i like it

michael and i had a good talk last night

it didn't seem very good at the time

a lot of negativity

but it ended well

in bed

i talked to my old best friend's sister today

it was nice

she told me she wants to be a mom

i automatically told her it's not all it's cracked up to be

it's hard

but thinking about it now i think it's neat she wants to be a mom

and it makes me grateful i am one

michael's working on homework

that's why i'm still awake

been watching tv

way more than i should but there's a giant tv here and a million movies on all the time

like juno

and ps i love you

plus i watched the office

and kath and kim

no one else likes that show but i think it's hilarious

anyway

whenever michael and i stay up really late talking and eventually making love

we get along a lot better

like it solves any problems we have

i barely hated living here today

that was nice

plus it's thursday and an all new office so that helps too

oh and i had a slurpee

this is kind of fun typing random things

i don't often share what i'm thinking

even when asked

i say...oh nothing or ...just what we're talking about

it's never a true answer

because i don't think he wants to hear what i'm really thinking about most of the time

or it's stupid and unrelated

like what should i wear

oh neat this

or that's ugly

the whole blogging thing is funny

like i shouldn't be afraid to type whatever i want because it's my blog

but then i am nervous to put just anything on

who reads this?

i don't know

i kind of like it like that

although it is odd when i haven't really thought of that and then someone talks to me about something i blogged and i think ooops

but oh well

i kind of like that random people could read my blog

and enjoy it

or relate

or whatever

or feel like they get to see a piece of my life

you don't have to know what i mean

i know what i mean

it's a good outlet reguardless

i don't think it should be private

what are you afraid of?

you don't even have an ex-husband you're worried about "seeing" your life

not that that even matters really

it's not his life

i kind of don't want to have the comments thing on

although i love comments

it just seems like sometimes thats what i blog for

and that's not really the point

i tend to bottle things up

a few people know that best

it seems good to have a place to put my feelings and thoughts

without caring what anyone thinks about it

or whether anyone's reading

i do love being a mom

i hope michael knows that despite our talk last night

and i hope he knows i love him

with all that i have to love with

he's a really good husband

the husband i always wanted

now i'm at a loss

i guess that must have been what i was getting at

i don't know