An update and maybe a new resolve.

We went all yesterday with no TV for the first time in a long time. It was wonderful. Noah and Hazel were so much happier. Hazel did cry for a good half hour over the missing TV but then she enjoyed more attention from me and we played together a lot. Noah and Hazel helped me make mini cupcakes for Halloween. They played together all day and fought way less than normal. Michael noticed Noah was happier than ever when he got home from school. I knew there would be growing pains and that it would hurt but it's good. Mostly it was really positive.

Quitting the blog hurts. I love the blog but I know it's not what's most important in life. I love my family and I want to focus on these little children right now while they are young. That said, I turned our blog into a book last night and ordered a copy of it. It made me so sad to think of not doing this anymore. I've already made like 3 new blog posts today not knowing if I was going to keep the blog running or not. I know I'll lose contact with most of you and it's so nice for family to be able to see our kids. 

The main problem with the blog wasn't really with this blog. It was that I was spending way too much time online. Not only do I blog pretty regularly, I was reading nearly 100 blogs regularly as well. As most of you know, if you read design blogs it just makes you want more more more and I don't want to live that way. And most of what I was reading just doesn't matter. I want to be content and happy in my home, with my body, my wardrobe and my life. I want to have time to read my scriptures feel the spirit. I want to be present for my children, not spaced out online. 

Anyway, if you haven't noticed by now, I'm impulsive and Michael and I are both indecisive. For now I think I'll blog openly but I won't be reading other people's blogs. You're welcome to read or not. I want to blog to remember the fun that my family has and I want to do that while my kids are asleep. I don't want to take time away from them anymore.

LOVE,

Rachael

PS: I do have a project blog that my friend Heather and I have been posting on casually. I'll probably be putting my occasional projects on there and leaving this for my family/journaling space.