today i'm thinking about child birth
i had noah completely natural
not really by choice
but because i birthed him at a super small hospital
that didn't offer epidurals
and talked you out of the use of medication
in the hypnobirthing classes they did offer
after his birth i felt a little traumatized
i didn't even want to hold him at first
until i heard him cry
which happened to be a little while since he had fluid in his lungs
my body was shaking too much
and i had kept all of the pain to myself
(other than the shaking and vomiting twice)
because i was on emotional lock down mode
since my divorce just 3 months earlier
my mom was there with me while i was delivering noah
i was so grateful to have her
she held my leg while i pushed
and even cut the cord
but i definitely wished i'd had a supportive husband by my side as well
then after michael and i got married and we were pregnant with hazel
i assumed, although not necessary, i would birth hazel
naturally as well
i heard that second children were much easier to birth
and super quick
so i planned for it
but hazel's cord prevented her from exiting the same way noah did
and her heart rate dropped
and her heart rate dropped
so i had an emergency c-section
which i found traumatic in a different way
something about the midwife's hand somewhere i would've preferred it not
for an extended period
as well as the shot they gave me to stop my contractions
which made my body shake like crazy
while laying completely naked on the operating table
wondering where my husband had disappeared to
(he was getting prepped for the c-section)
and then i was given too much pain killer
which made me very tired and vomit a lot the next day...
this time i'm not sure how it will go
i'm going to try for a VBAC
vaginal birth after cesarean
and i'm open minded to having an epidural
although i do see definite perks to having a planned c-section
i just want a pleasant experience
where i'm not in too much shock
or too drugged up
to even want to hold my baby
we'll see how it goes
i'm happy i'll have an awesome husband there to support me
no matter what
anyone have any advice?
15 comments:
I had an epidural with Kherrington, not one that worked really well, but I did have one. I still shook after having Kherrington. My understanding is that it's the rapid change of hormones and adrenaline that does it. I still think I'll have an epidural for my next one, though. I'm just hoping that it works better.
I had an epidural after about 30 hours of labor and it was glorious! At first the first midwife i had made me feel a little guilty about it, but then shifts changed and the next midwife was awesome. I had 3 hours of pushing. I truely believe that if I didn't get an epidural I may have had to have a C-section b/c I would have been too exhausted to push. I don't see anything wrong with an epidural. Why not? My labor went great and Ellie and I were both just fine. I loved my labor and delivery.
I was faced with a similar decision with Parker. VBAC or no VBAC? Ava's delivery wasn't traumatic because it was a planned section because she was breech. I had planned on trying a VBAC with Parker, but my Dr kind of scared me out of it. She would have been totally supportive if I had decided to do it. But I think when you are hormonal and someone says, 'possibly fatal' you become easily swayed. There's definately something to be said about how easy and calm a planned section is, but looking back, I kind of wish I had tried the vbac just so I could have the experience. (I definately would have gone for the drugs though, they are amazing!!;-)
I had an epidural with Dallin and it was the best thing. I never would have gotten him out without one. It was a horrible recovery, but I don't regret getting the epi. With Landon, I was so far dilated when I went in that I decided I could do it without drugs, which turned out to be good. I was so sick that I think having medication would have made the whole experience worse. The pain was unbelievable, but I could work better with my body, so I was more efficient. I think it just depends on your baby, and how your body is feeling at the time of delivery. Good luck deciding! (I'm not even pregnant and I'm already wondering how the next one will go...) :)
With ayla i was in labor for 3 days and then her cord was around her neck so i had the experience of labor and a e-csection, it was tramatic for me as well. I planned for a planned c-section for my next one just so the birthing process would not be a tramatic for me, drugs were a no brainer for me!--it deffinatly helped me out emotionally, not to mention i had nice hair and make up, haha! If you need someone to chat at, let me know!
I had an epidural with Scott and one with Jennie (almost too late though so I went through almost all of the labor with her) So I thought with Erik I would go natural. I would not do it again! (o.k. so he was almost 10 lbs) I think Jennie is a good one to talk to. She was in labor for 3 days and then once her water broke she had an epi and was laughing and enjoying the whole delivery experience.
I hope you do have an easy time this time. Since my youngest is getting close to 50, birthing was so different. They did do C-sections but it was major surgery. Fortunally, I did not have a C-section. I probably should have with Dan but the doctor didn't even know he was breech until he saw the foot. I had gas with my first two and then gas with Dan. The rest of the babies came really easy. What I hated most was having my arms strapped down. Also, fathers were not allowed in the Labor room. In my case, that might have been good. Their dad might have been one of those that fainted in the Labor room.
If you decide to go VBAC (medicated or un-medicated) my best advice is to look into hiring a doula. My doula has been an amazing support throughout my whole pregnancy and I am excited to have her by my side during labor. There is some really good research out there about the positive impact that a doula can have on the length of your labor and how satisfied you feel about the birth postpartum. Good luck with whatever you decide. In a few short weeks I will have really uplifting, un-medicated VBAC story to share.
I think it's interesting to see how much your friends are willing to share their experiences.
With each of my first three babies, I went in to it determined to go all natural ~ but I ended up being induced and having an epidural with all of them. By #4, I knew to go into it open-minded ~ I did end up being induced and having an epidural ~ and it was the most glorious of my four experiences. The moral of my story: go into it open-minded (go as far as you can without help, but take it when you need it).
Oh, another concern:
A lot of people have the misconception that the baby is drugged from the epidural and think that can affect their ability to nurse.
They are ExHaUsTeD from being born. All four of my babies nursed for a really long time and did not have issues from the epidural.
With Ali I wanted to try w/out an epidural. Mostly because I have a huge fear of needles-I know you don't see it, but still the thought... I prepped myself for tons of pain. It went awesome. No epidural, and really, it wasn't that bad. 8 hours total labor 30 min pushing.
With the twins, I kept going back and forth between going with or w/out an epidural. The dr said he was fine with either way, but as a warning said if I didn't have an epidrual and we had to do an emergency c-section to get the second twin out I would have to be completely knocked out, which I wasn't ok with. So I opted for an epidural. I prepped myself for no pain, because that is what an epidrual is suppose to, right? Wrong. The epidural itself hurt like crazy and it only numbed the bottom half of my left leg. Crazy amounts of pain (luckily no emergency c-section..but really they were both rushed to the NICU and I saw them for a total of maybe 10 seconds then had to wait 2 hours before I could see them again, so I guess it wouldn't have been bad to be knocked out. any way). 3 hours total labor, 10 minutes pushing. I wish never to repeat that one though.
Moral of my story: I think it is all in the head...the different ways I prepped myself for it made all the difference. I defintely will never do an epidrual again.
I know there are other risks and all that with a VBAC, but just talk to people who have done it before and take all advice with a grain of salt. It is your body, your baby, you do what feels right.
And you are right, an awesome husband makes everything better :)
If we have a third my doctor said I'm a great VBAC candidate, but since I haven't gone through it yet I can't really help. My sister's plan was a VBAC with an epidural if she needed one. her due date arrived and she wasn't dialated at all. she went with her gut feeling and had a c-section rather than continuing to wait. It was probably one of the hardest decisions of her life. A close friend had two natural births and then an emergency c-section for her third. She was able to have a natural VBAC for number four. I say have a plan of what you would like, but in the moment listen to your body and do what you feel is best.
I have finally figured out that every woman has her own 'birthing story'. It seems with every birth there is something interesting/scary/ or stressful that happens. I think whatever helps you get through the process with the best experience is what matters most. You are amazing. Whatever you decide will be best for you!
Umm... I am all for epidurals. I decided I'd go as far as I could without - which wasn't long. I had to be induced at 4cms and pitocin is no joke! It brings on some intense contractions.
I'm glad I went with the epidural, because I was in labor for 30 hours - and they kept increasing the pitocin. I ended up with a c-section though :\
My doctor told me the epidural does not affect the baby - and that was my main concern. So when I found that out I was all for it! They actually gave me my own epidural button to push when I needed more. Lol umm... I was numb from my head down because of it!! XD Not good. But I was in labor right after having the stomach flu for 2 weeks, so I was all about comfort.
When they wheeled me in for my c-section, I got so nauseous on the ride over that I threw up in the operating room - which was actually scary since I was so numb - I felt like I was choking. And I did get the shakes - but I forget what they had given me that caused them :\
Dmitri came out totally fine - except that he had to be on antibiotics for a week because he wasn't delivered soon enough after my water broke. But that was it.
I went in with an open mind - but after having the c-section, I felt a little robbed of the whole experience. I knew it was an emergency situation, because he wasn't coming out otherwise - but still. I also had preclampsia - so the meds they gave me made me so drowsy - so maybe that was the main reason I felt robbed, because I couldn't keep my eyes open most the time :[
Also, depending on the state you live in, most say that if you have 2 sections, all your other deliveries must be c-section. So if you had a c-section with this baby, and had a forth baby, they might insist you have another c-section. I have a friend that had an emergency c-section with her first, and then had to have one with her second because the state she lived in required it. So all her babies ended up c-section {she's on her forth pregnancy}.
I know a lot of people that have had successful VBACs. So I wouldn't rule it out. And I think that'll be the route I take when I have another baby.
But really, I'd just suggest going in with an open mind. They say if you've had one or two babies vaginally, then the third, forth and so on are easier and faster everytime. But also take into consideration what your schedule will be like around your delivery time. Some people like the convenience of scheduled c-sections because of work, or they don't have someone near by to take their other kids at a moments notice.
Lol sorry for the novel! XD
wow I didn't know all this! scary stuff. I hope things go SO much better for you this time! I obviously can't share any advice yet, but I am planning on getting an epidural.
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