sewing: a new tank and bow for hazel

i guess i'm dreaming of summer

because this is the most recent thing i've sewn

 with a matching bow, of course 

 hazel thought she was really funny

acting grumpy

 trying not to smile

are you as excited for summer as i am?

it has been a loooooong winter in utah

thoughts on phases

last night in bed i was thinking

about phases of my life

about how i've changed and grown

i could categorize these phases geographically

where i was living at each of these phases

kent, vancouver, kent, port angeles, kent, pullman, utah

i could base it off major life changes

like married, divorced, child, married, child, child, child

 i was thinking of my own childhood

as the youngest child of six

to busy working parents

who wanted us to raise ourselves

find our own food, make our own choices

how i went from wanting to fit in to wanting to be an individual

then in my naivety i got married when i was 17

and how i went from being an independent person 

to one of two people in a relationship

the one who didn't know about the constant lying

or the cheating, the stealing, or addictions

i was the depressed and confused one 

who just didn't know what was going on 

the one who was always wrong

and hurt and miserable

in this phase i shaved my head, i got tattoos, i drank,

i smoked, if i'd been offered drugs i surely would have quickly 

grown attached

in this phase i eventually found my own way

i had to hit rock bottom, want to die

there i found my testimony of Jesus Christ 

with or without my other half

then eventually i was to become a mother

we were expecting a baby

and i had to make the decision to be a single mom

i knew in my heart that i could do it better alone

than we could do it together

this was a phase of independence

i was hurt, alone, and yet strong

i got through

not to say it was easy by any means

i still wanted to die

i was confused how my life had got to this point

then i met michael and he listened and wanted to understand

we got married

and there was a phase of healing

i had to let go of unhealthy marriage habits
start over, in a way

and learn to trust

i learned to share the process of carrying a baby

and having a family with someone

something i only knew how to do by myself

michael was patient

even through my yelling, my fighting, my healing

he expected it and let it pass

then we moved away from the place where we grew up

we moved away to the middle of no where

so he could go to school

and it turned out to be the key to my healing

we started over by ourselves

we grew closer than ever before
and had two more babies

 now we've moved again

and i don't know what phase this is

i suppose we'll see how we change and grow here
i didn't like utah at all when we moved here
but it's growing on me
i don't want to settle here
 but i am sure we'll miss it when we're gone
i am getting a little excited for the "done with school" phase

couchaholic

well we all know i like furniture

and changing it...

i thought it would be fun to document allllll the couches we've had in our 5.5 years of marraige

this is the best picture i could find of our first couch

it was a worn leather sofa with nailhead trim we got off craigslist for $100

when we got married

we had it for a year and a half until we decided to move in with michael's brother

so we sold it to my sister for $100 

living with michael's brother didn't go so well for me

so we moved back out after 2 months and didn't have much furniture

since we'd sold it

so michael's aunt gave us this couch and it's matching loveseat for free

after a bit, i wanted something more "me" and gave them away

we bought this retro beauty for...i think $175 on craigslist

and loooooved it other than the cat scratches on each arm...

but since we loved the mid century shape we didn't want rid of it, only the scratches

we first tried repairing them....and spray painted it white

but a couple days later we reupholstered it

we kept it but decided to buy this sectional for the new apartment we were moving in to

i believe it was $400

i liked the shape of the sectional but the microfiber sucked with kids

it showed every milk/water spot so after i couldn't hack that any longer

we cleaned it up and resold it for what we bought it for

and went back to using the couch we'd reupholstered ourselves

 until we found this (pitter patter) gorgeous thing

(and sold our reupholstered couch for $75)

it was 9 feet long and had chartreuse velvet

it was $40 at a garage sale

and they even delivered it

i loved the color, it was comfortable and easy to keep clean

we used it for about 2 years

the only problem was that the couch was old

and the fabric kept coming un-seamed

i  repaired as many times as i could

but it got a little beyond repair

and we gave it away about a year ago

(i totally regret that decision, i wish we'd either tried to reupholster it ourselves or paid to have it done)

and found this leather ikea ektorp 

on craigslist for maybe $400

and have used it until this last week

 when i found this west elm slipcovered sofa for $150 on ksl (utah's craigslist)

and we sold the leather ikea couch for $275

man, looking back at all our couches has made me feel a little neurotic

but since we usually make most (if not all) of our money back

i don't feel too bad about it

you may be wondering how our 4 kids are doing with our white couch

and the answer is great! 

as much as i try to fight it, i hate the color brown and it brings me down

  love bright spaces

so this couch is really doing it for me

the kids are being really respectful of the white-ness

and it is soooo much more comfortable than the leather ikea ektorp

plus, the pillows look really pretty on it 

ps. i acknowledge my husband is super easy-going

and i may have a problem...

sunday best

today was stake conference

which meant we had an extra hour to get ready

and we didn't look like complete ragamuffins

other than noah's cowlick....and the fact that olive came out in socks....

if we had a little more time i would've set up the tripod so we could all be in the picture

you'll just have to trust me that michael looked good

mmmmmhmmmm

a day date!

michael's cousin jennie is the sweetest!

she texted me earlier this week to say she was open to watch our kids on saturday

for us to go do whatever we wanted

so michael and i went to the salt lake temple

(for our first time, so pretty!)

 then out to lunch at the cheesecake factory

and had some godiva cheesecake for dessert (sooo good)

it was beyond wonderful

to reconnect and have some kid-free time together

i just love that sweet husband of mine

he is my best friend and i am so happy i get to be with him forever

crazy about birthdays

i woke up suddenly the other day

in a panic because i realized olive's golden birthday is in a few months

she'll be 3 on the 3rd

and since this is her only golden birthday, it has to be super special

(for the record, michael does not support the celebration of golden birthdays

mostly because he's bitter he found out about them years after his had passed...i still care a lot)

i immediately ordered a golden mylar balloon in the shape of a 3

for olive's special day

then i realized i need to start planning noah and eleanor's birthdays that are in april

eleanor's won't be too extravagant since it's her first

but it'll still need to be special

noah's birthday on the other hand needs to be awesome

because last year he got jipped

eleanor was only 10 days old and there wasn't much celebrating for him

so this year is going to be awesome

and i've already made the invitations

and booked the entertainment

hazel wants me to start planning her birthday, too

which will be awesome, too

because 5 feels like a big deal to me

but i'm putting her on the back burner for now

since there are three birthdays and 3 months until hers

for now, she wants a cinderella ball

which will be fun

eleanor was sick in the hospital for michael's birthday last year

so i feel like his birthday needs some making up, too

am i the only one who stresses this much over birthdays?

i just feel like birthdays and holidays are so important

it turns out it's part of my personality according to this test

it's only one day a year to celebrate a person

so it has to be awesome

and since i'm the mom, i feel fully responsible

image from here

ps. nothing new with hazel, unless we're talking about the pattern of her hives..

hazel update

overnight hazel's swelling went down and she can walk again today

sadly, her rashy face spread and she now has hives all over her body

i took hazel to our regular pediatrician today

and he tested her urine (normal)

and prescribed claritin for three weeks

as well as an antihistamine

of course we'll take her back in if things look worst

and keep a close eye on her

he doesn't think it's just a virus

but instead a reaction to something

we have no idea what

and he said we probably won't

but hopefully she'll get over it soon

luckily she feels good

and is pretty happy

except for having to skip a play date and ballet

poor hazel

this afternoon hazel started complaining that her hands and feet hurt really bad

we figured she was just cold because she'd played outside earlier

but when we checked them out, we realized she was really swollen

and her face started getting splotchy during dinner

this was right when the pediatrician's office closed 

so michael took her to the insta-care

while i took everyone else to noah's parent/teacher conference

the doctor says that because she's not super itchy

and she seems to be feeling well otherwise and pretty happy

it's just a virus 

isn't that crazy? so we're giving her benadryl

and hoping it goes away but the doctor said it could take up to a week

by this evening hazel couldn't even walk because her feet hurt so bad

and her lips were pretty blue

michael bought her a donut for being such a good girl at the doctor

(she was pretty nervous but did great)

please pray for her

i'm still pretty worried and really hope that doctor wasn't wrong

i will probably take her in to the regular pediatrician if it hasn't improved by tomorrow

for a second opinion

hey look!

all four kids in one spot!

presidents day

michael went in to school for a bit this morning

and when he got home

we went to cubby's for lunch

and then took the kids to the kangaroo zoo

(an indoor bouncy house place)

then we came home for a movie party
it's safe to say the kids had a good day

ps. olive has to be with me while i do my hair and makeup lately
she has her spot on my dresser 
where she watches me and says,
"do my cheeks, mom" "do my hair, mom" 
michael took these pictures of us today while i was getting ready to go
she is definitely my mini me

temple square and a date night

we didn't have plans for the day

other than run four miles...which michael and i did on the treadmill this morning

but noah thought we should go to temple square

so that's what we did

with a quick stop at chipotle on the way, of course

 it was a really pretty (and fairly cold) day

we walked around the salt lake temple

and inside the joseph smith memorial building

 and then to the church history museum for the kids to play 

noah and hazel skipped holding hands, it was the cutest

 eleanor was way in to these small chairs

i love all four of them sitting together

 then we quickly stopped at trader joes for a few essentials

and dropped the kids at the church for a babysitting swap

and michael, eleanor and i went out to dinner

 we ended up at wingers of all places

(we hate wingers)

and it was actually pretty decent

and lots of fun to go on a date, even with our little ella girl

the rest of our valentine's day

noah had martial arts and afterward we went out to dinner 

to the art city trolley

it was way good

ps. how cute is my valentine?! 

michael normally wears glasses like 99% of the time

but i am really enjoying his blue eyes without them

 hey there's me!

the stressed out mom who just wanted to go home 

because i was in a bad mood

but luckily it went away by the time we ate....maybe i was just hungry?

 eleanor ate so much food!

olive being cheesy

i'm pretty sure she didn't touch her mac and cheese

and instead dipped chips in fry sauce for dinner.. oh and stuck her hands in my dr pepper a bunch

 cutie pants hazel

noah was even grumpier than i was 

until he ate....

it runs in the family

and i love this chris farley-esk smile

i wouldn't say it was our most romantic valentines day ever..

but it was actually a really fun dinner out

and you want to know what's making my heart all a flutter?

(aside from my darling husband!)

a sister in our ward posted these for free on facebook

and michael is picking them up right now

i am IN LOVE!!!!

then michael and i will do our usual watch tv/drink slurpees awesomeness

i love him more than anything in the whole wide world

he is my very favorite

happy valentines day!!!

valentine's day so far...

yesterday hazel had her preschool valentines party 

we made little cards and stamped "you're sweet" and added a unicorn pop

for her to hand out to her friends

then last night michael and i set up some little surprises for the kids to wake up to

we gave noah an angry bird fan/candy, hazel a necklace that says love, olive 3 red rubber duckies,

and i made a doll for eleanor

michael bought me a dozen rozes, the girls each a pink rose

and a balloon for noah

i also finished noah's class valentines that are super hero lollipops

 and michael and i exchanged gifts early

i got him a psych shirt that says "wait for iiiiiit"

and he got me gold saltwater sandals

 then this morning after the kids found all their gifts and ate a fair amount of candy

we had a nice breakfast together before noah had to leave for school

 michael made breakfast and i made the hot chocolate

 eleanor and her doll

 my blue eyed twinners

 the girls had ballet and tap

 and hazel is currently having a playdate with her bff lilly

here they are eating cupcakes

quite a day already!